What's Your Love Language?

19 questions, about 4 min. Free, no sign-up.

The five love languages come from Gary Chapman's 1992 book: the idea that people feel cared for most through words, time, gifts, helpful acts or touch. It's a framework for reflection, not science.

The questions are everyday situations: a flu-ridden week, a friend who moved abroad, an apology after a fight, a birthday. Your answers place you on three scales: whether love reaches you more when it's Said or Shown, whether you feel it From afar or need it Up close, and whether a gesture lands because it's Sentimental or Practical.

You'll get your main love language, how closely you match all five, and a profile covering what makes you feel loved, what hurts, and how you mix with the others. There are 19 questions.

Possible results

See all 19 questions

It's been a brutal week and you finally get home on Friday. Someone who loves you has done one thing for you. Which gets to you most?
- A note on the counter listing three things they admire about how you coped
- Their phone is off and the whole evening is cleared, just for you
- Dinner's on, Tuesday's dishes are gone, and the laundry is folded
- A paper bag with your favourite pastry from the bakery across town
- They pull you onto the sofa and don't let go for ten minutes
Your closest friend moved to another country last spring. Six months in, what makes the friendship still feel solid?
- A standing Sunday video call where we cook the same recipe together
- Long voice notes saying exactly what they miss about me
- A parcel of local snacks with a postcard of their street
- They found me a cheap flight and already made up the spare bed
- Knowing the first thing at arrivals will be a hug that lifts me off my feet
Kind words stay with me longer than kind gestures do. (agree / disagree)
Think of an adult from your childhood who made you feel loved. What do you remember them doing?
- Fixing my bike, packing my lunch and driving me everywhere without complaint
- Telling me, out loud and often, that I was going to be something
- Taking me along on errands, just the two of us, talking the whole way
- Scratching my back or stroking my hair until I fell asleep
- Bringing back a little something from every trip, even the short ones
You and someone close had a real argument yesterday. Today they try to make it right. Which apology actually lands?
- A long hug before either of us says a single word
- A peace offering: my favourite snack with a sheepish sticky note
- A sincere message that names exactly what they got wrong
- Sitting down face to face and talking until it's properly settled
- Quietly dealing with the thing that started the fight in the first place
Sitting close to someone I love settles me in a way nothing else does. (agree / disagree)
You've just pulled off a huge project at work or school. Which kind of recognition would mean the most?
- An email to the whole team crediting exactly what I did
- A colleague quietly covering my most tedious task for a week
- My manager taking me to lunch to hear how I pulled it off
- A small gift picked with care: a plant, a book, a good pen
- Double high-fives and a squeeze on the shoulder from my teammates
You're stuck in bed with a nasty flu for three days. Which friend makes you feel most cared for?
- The one who brings soup, restocks the fridge and takes the bins out
- The one who braves the germs to sit with my feet in their lap
- The one who sends sweet, silly check-in texts every few hours
- The one who leaves a get-well bag with fuzzy socks and my tea
- The one who stays all afternoon watching bad TV with me
When someone takes a chore off my plate, it feels like real love. (agree / disagree)
A friend is going through a rough breakup. Without overthinking it, how do you show up for them?
- Clear my weekend and keep them company, whatever they feel like doing
- Turn up with groceries and handle the chores they can't face
- Hug them for as long as they need and keep an arm around them
- Write them a long message about everything that makes them wonderful
- Put together a care package with their comfort film and snacks
Someone you're close to has seemed a bit distant lately. What was the first thing you noticed?
- Their texts got shorter, and the "proud of you" messages stopped
- When we're together, they're half on their phone
- The hugs got quick, and they sit at the other end of the sofa
- They came back from a trip without so much as a postcard
- Suddenly I'm doing all the planning, driving and washing-up
I can feel deeply loved by someone I only see once a year. (agree / disagree)
You've told everyone you don't want a fuss for your birthday. Which would secretly make your day anyway?
- Someone remembering the thing I pointed at in a shop window months ago
- Being smothered in hugs the second I walk through the door
- A card where someone wrote a whole page instead of "HBD"
- Finding the chores done and the restaurant already booked for me
- An old friend taking the afternoon off just to spend it with me
You and the person you live with both face a long day. Which small morning gesture would make you smile on the bus?
- Getting up ten minutes early to have coffee together, phones away
- A sticky note on the mirror that says "You've got this"
- My lunch packed and the frost already scraped off the car
- My favourite chocolate bar secretly tucked into my bag
- A long hug at the door and a kiss on the forehead
I trust what people do more than what they say. (agree / disagree)
You're on holiday and something reminds you of a person you love back home. What do you do?
- Buy it, wrap it badly, and carry it home in my hand luggage
- Text them straight away: "saw this, thought of you, here's why"
- Make a note to bring them here next time, together
- Scout the best spots so I can plan their whole trip here later
- Start counting down to the hug I'll give them at the airport
At a big family gathering, the noise is building and the food's nearly ready. When do you feel most at home?
- Squeezed onto the sofa, arm in arm with whoever's next to me
- When someone fills a plate for me before I've even asked
- Off in a corner, deep in conversation with my favourite cousin
- When someone raises a glass and says something kind about me
- Swapping presents and seeing who chose what for whom
I'd keep a cheap souvenir that reminds me of someone over an expensive, useful gift. (agree / disagree)
Someone you're seeing says, "Leave tonight to me." Which plan would make you melt?
- A long dinner with nowhere to be afterwards and no phones on the table
- A little wrapped gift waiting at my place setting
- They've sorted everything: tickets, parking, even the babysitter
- Slow-dancing in the kitchen to a song we both know
- A walk where they tell me what they first noticed about me