Am I a Chud?

17 questions, about 3 min. Free, no sign-up.

"Chud" is internet slang for someone who's unwashed, chronically online and full of bad takes. This is a joke quiz that checks how close you are.

The questions cover your morning routine, screen time, showers, film choices, what's on your bedroom wall and how you handle people who disagree with you. Your answers place you on two scales: Online (Touches grass or Terminally online) and Takes (Normal or Chud).

You'll get one of four results: Certified Grass Toucher, Terminally Online, Barbecue Chud or Certified Chud, with your saving graces, warning signs and what it means for dating. There are 17 questions. It's for fun.

Possible results

See all 17 questions

Your alarm goes off on a weekday morning. What's the first thing you do?
- Open the curtains and put the kettle on
- Check three apps and two group chats before sitting up
- Fifty push-ups, then tell everyone at breakfast about them
- Watch a "sigma morning routine" video, still lying in bed
Someone on the internet has posted something wrong. What do you do?
- Scroll past. It's not my problem
- Screenshot it for the group chat to laugh at
- Save it up to rant about at dinner later
- Reply "ratio" and argue with them for three hours
I've lost track of whole days scrolling on my phone. (agree / disagree)
Be honest. When did you last shower?
- This morning, obviously
- Yesterday, I think? Time is hard to track in my room
- This morning, ice cold, for the discipline
- I'm saving water. Also, I have a gaming chair
Your date says they're really into astrology. What do you say?
- Ask what my sign says about me and have a laugh about it
- Make a niche meme reference they don't get
- Explain, for ten minutes, why astrology isn't real
- Send them a debate clip about it when I get home
I often start sentences with "well, actually." (agree / disagree)
How would your friends describe your screen time?
- Normal. Maps, messages and the odd video
- A cry for help. Nine hours a day, minimum
- Low. I'd rather share my opinions in person
- High, and mostly comment sections and "debate me" clips
It's your turn to pick the film for movie night. What happens?
- I pick something everyone will like and bring good snacks
- A film I've seen 40 times, so I can quote it in the chat
- Fight Club, and I explain it to everyone afterwards
- Fight Club, because Tyler Durden is the good guy
I could spend a whole weekend without my phone and be fine. (agree / disagree)
Someone tells you to "touch grass." What's your reaction?
- I literally just got back from a walk
- Fair. I haven't been outside since Tuesday
- I touch grass every day. I mow it, aggressively
- Type out a long reply about why that's a bad argument
What's on your bedroom wall right now?
- A few photos and a plant that's somehow alive
- Not much. The room is mostly lit by RGB strips
- A motivational poster with a wolf on it
- A sword. A real one
I can admit I was wrong without turning it into a fight. (agree / disagree)
A friend asks you for relationship advice. What do you do?
- Listen first, then ask what they actually want
- Send them a meme that sums it up perfectly
- Tell them to stop being soft and hit the gym
- Send a two-hour podcast by a man in a rented sports car
What do you think of people who disagree with you?
- Most of them have their reasons. I'm happy to hear them
- I mute them and go back to my corner of the internet
- They're wrong, and I'll tell them at the next family dinner
- NPCs. They don't have inner thoughts
Most of my friends are people I've never met in person. (agree / disagree)
Pick your ideal Saturday.
- Market, park, then dinner with friends
- Eighteen hours of one game on a Discord call
- Gym, then a barbecue where I control the music
- Gym selfie, then explaining crypto to strangers online
I'm fine with friends teasing me back. (agree / disagree)