Not Over Them Yet
Still in it
They still take up a lot of room in your head, and that's okay for now.
Take the quiz to get your own result.
Take the quizTypical profile
Where this result sits on each scale.
Feelings
Life
Overview
Your answers suggest your ex is still a big part of your inner life. You think about them often, check on them sometimes, and wonder what could have been. Much of your day-to-day has slowed down since the breakup too, as if part of you is waiting.
That's a normal place to be, especially if the breakup was recent, unexpected or ended a long relationship. Heartbreak can feel physical, with lost sleep, no appetite and an ache that won't shift, and it doesn't follow a neat schedule. Being here now doesn't mean you'll stay here.
What helps most isn't forcing yourself to feel fine. It's small, practical steps: less contact with their online life, more contact with the people who care about you, and a few things each week that are just for you.
- Loyal
- Feels deeply
- Hopeful
- Hurting
What's going well
You loved for real
It hurts this much because it mattered. Caring this deeply is a strength, even if it doesn't feel like one right now.
Honesty with yourself
You answered these questions truthfully. Admitting you're not over it is the first step to getting there.
Loyalty
You don't let go of people easily. In the right relationship, that steadiness is exactly what a partner wants.
It won't last forever
Feelings this strong do fade, slowly and then suddenly. Most people look back and are surprised how far they've come.
Worth watching
Checking up on them
Looking at their profile or asking friends about them keeps the wound open.
Try this: Mute or unfollow them for 30 days. You can always undo it later.
Replaying the past
You may go over the same arguments, what-ifs and good memories again and again.
Try this: Give it a set time: 15 minutes of thinking about them, then do something with your hands.
Putting life on hold
Part of you may be waiting for them to come back before you start living again.
Try this: Make one plan for next week that has nothing to do with them.
Hiding away
When you're hurting, it's tempting to stay in alone, but being alone usually makes it louder.
Try this: Tell one friend how you're really doing, and ask them to check in on you.
Dating and friends
Are you ready to date?
Probably not yet, and that's fine. Dating while you're still hoping your ex comes back usually leaves someone hurt, often you. Give yourself time. You'll know you're ready when you can picture someone new without comparing them.
Leaning on friends
Your friends want to help, even if they've heard the story many times. Let them take you out, sit with you, or send a daily check-in. If months have passed and you still can't sleep, eat or get through the day, talking to a doctor or counsellor is a sensible, normal step.
Good days and hard days
On good days
- You're honest about how much it hurts.
- You let people support you.
- You take small steps, even on hard days.
On harder days
- You check their profile and feel worse every time.
- You replay the relationship looking for what you could have done differently.
- You pull away from friends and plans.
Fictional characters with this streak
- Joel Barish (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)So unable to let go that he has her erased from his memory, then regrets it.
- Tom Hansen (500 Days of Summer)Replays every moment with Summer, looking for where it went wrong.
- Miss Havisham (Great Expectations)Stopped every clock at the moment she was left. A warning, not a plan.
Other results in this quiz
- Fully Moved OnThey're part of your story now, not the thing that's still writing it.
- Busy, But Not Over ThemYour diary is packed, partly so there's no room left to think about them.
- Over Them, Not Over ItYou've let them go. Now you're rebuilding the parts of life the breakup took with it.